Barbie

So I spent the night at Alaina's last night. We watched a movie that we promised ourselves we wouldn't, but of course we enjoyed it. Mom called me this morning around nine, but we were still in bed and I really wasn't awake enough to have a full-out conversation with her. All I remember is that she said she would be home tomorrow. After another hour or two of sleeping, Alaina and I went to Wal-mart to buy Diet Coke and some food for lunch. We really didn't do much today but we sat and talked. It was one of those long talks that make you feel relaxed afterwords... this particular talk was about ex-boyfriends.

But then five o'clock rolled around, and it was time for me to meet Brennan at his place so that we could attend Ashley's funeral. We arrived about a half hour early and not many people had showed up yet. We went into the auditorium and picked some seats semi-close to the front on the friends side. There was a picture of her though, and so we both had to step outside to contain ourselves. When we decided to go back in, it was ten minutes before the scheduled time of start (even though it didn't start on time) and there were several more bunches of people. I knew most of them, but none of the family. It was interesting, because people moved from where they were sitting to sit next to Brennan and I. Several of the people I hadn't seen in ages, but they were glad that I came. Everyone was pleased to know that everyone else there cared and that her life didn't go unnoticed.

Throughout the ceremony there were lots of tears shed even though everyone knew that Ashley would kick all of our butts if she ever saw us shed a single tear because of her. We all tried to laugh it off, but it was one of the most difficult things I've ever had to do. At one point the person speaking actually had to stop because he was reading a poem that caused a few of us to cry to the point of sobbing. The line was something about how we may think that God took her too soon but it was part of his plan and she had lived a full life. It actually made me quite angry. I'm nineteen years old and haven't even begun my life, Ashley was barely eighteen. How on earth could anyone consider that a full life? And all I could think about throughout was how could someone kill someone so young? She didn't just die, she was killed. She was shot four times in the face by an ex boyfriend... We couldn't even get a last glimpse at our friend.

And then they played the Angel's Among Us song witch me and a couple other people tried to sing a few versus to, but I couldn't help but think: "There are angels among us, and one of them was just taken away." Ashley was honestly a godsend to so many people. She always had a smile on her face and she always knew how to put one on yours as well.

After the ceremony was over, we all tried our best to put the tears behind us. Ashley was truly one of those girls that could turn anything negative into something positive, and we knew that is what she would have wanted.

I have never seen so many people under twenty at a funeral before, but I was very happy to see how loved she was- as was her family. Her uncle came over and gave all of us a hug and a smile to thank us for caring.

Some of us played football in memory of her, since she literally played everyday. Others just sat around at the park and laughed and joked around for an hour or so. More people went to swim at Chris' house, but I was ready to go home.

I haven't cried so hard or so much in a very long time, but it is behind me now. Ashley, I shed my tears for you at the funeral to show that I love and care for you. I will proudly say that you were like a little sister to me that grew into a wonderful young woman. So now I put away the sadness, and remember the good times and the good nature within you, because I know that you will always be in our hearts. We miss and love you so dearly, Barbie <3