School

I have officially realized that I hate homework.
Every one of my classes decides to make everything due at once. I have an assignment, test, and discussion board due for psychology, a math assignment that I don't understand, and I have to study for astronomy. Blech.

Stressin'

Nap Time

I took Sadie for a ride in the car today. We went to Petsmart for kitty litter, but boy she was happy. Usually she's scared of the salon there, but she just walked faster past it instead of trying to drag me out the door like she usually does.

(I love my baby, she makes me laugh.)

Last night I made progress on my art projects at work, but they still aren't finished. I'm at my parents right now so that I can get some more done on them. Mom sent me a link to UNLV and I glanced at some of the information. It makes me nacious to think about what I'm going to do next year; there are so many choices and each of them have pros and cons not to mention they all lead to different things. As of right now, there are four schools that I am concidering:

Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising Los Angeles, California

Pros:

• Location
• Interior Design degree
• 1 year to Bachelors

Cons:

• Expensive
• Competative

Arizona State University Tempe, Arizona

Pros:

• No moving
• Know People
• In State price
• Already employed in AZ

Cons:

• No Design degree
• Too close to comfort zone

University of Nevada, Las Vegas Las Vegas, Nevada

Pros:

• Close to family
• Business and Hotel Management degree

Cons:

• Las Vegas
• No Design degree

Parsons School of Design New York City, New York

Pros:

• Location (NEW YORK♥)
• Design Degree
• New start, too far to depend on comfort zone

Cons:

• Expensive
• 2 years where FIDM could give same for 1
• Far away

So I have a lot on my mind right now. I love school, but it stresses me out in a big way. I don't ever want to have to stop going to school, if I could I would go to all four colleges above! But I can't, and that scares me.

What if I make a bad choice?

If I don't go to a design school,
my career won't revolve around art as I would like;
will I regret it for the rest of my life?

What if I do go to design school and it just ends up being an entire waste of money?

What if I don't even get accepted to any of the schools that I want.
I don't have the highest GPA.

[[Everything is going to be okay.]]

Whatever decision I make, will lead to a different life, a different adventure. I'm excited and ready! No matter what, I'll figure out a way to make things work for the better. After all, just because today could be the worst day of your life, tomorrow can always be a fresh start. Life is what you make it, and personally I plan on making mine the best.

On a more random note, there are five songs that I cannot stop listening to on repeat:
Crash and Burn Savage Garden - "If you need to crash, crash and burn you're not alone."
Your Call Seconhand Serenade - "This solitary moment makes me want to come back home and I'm tired of being all alone."
My Immortal Evanescence - "You used to captivate me by your resinating light, but now I'm bound by the life you left behind. Your face it haunts my once plesent dreams. Your voice it chased away all the sanity in me."
February Song Josh Groban - "How did I ever fade into this life? I don't ever want to let you down, forgive me if I slip away."
Come What May Moulin Rouge - "Never knew I could feel like this; like I've never seen the sky before."

I want more.
I'm still looking for the perfect violin/piano combo.
I'm starting to think that I'm going to have to create it myself.
:)

Someday...
[[Everything will be okay.]]
Right now, you're still on my mind.

Weekend

Melting Pot on Friday night was awesome. We ended up getting two pots for everything this time instead of our usual one. Which was nice because we got to try some different things this time.

Cheese: Fiesta and... another that I can't remember the name.

I didn't like the Fiesta because it reminded me of Mexican food, which I do not like. The other cheese was okay, but kind of bland. We dipped cellary, colliflower, carrots, green apples, and bread in the cheeses, and we also had chips for the Fiesta bowl.

Main Course:

I don't remember what flavors we got but one was citris of some sort, which was really yummy with the mushrooms and shrimp. We had beef, pork, chicken, brocolli, potatoes, mushrooms, shrimp, and some other stuff. My favorite was the shrimp, but the mushrooms were a close second. The meats weren't as good as they have been in the past, so I was a bit dissapointed with that, but overall it was still delicious.

Dessert:

This, of course, was the best part! Jeffery and Mom wanted the Flaming Turtle and Dad chose the Yin and Yang chocolate. Personally, I love chocolate so I didn't care what we ordered, it would all be yummy. Although, I must admit I was a bit iffy about Dad's choice, but it ended up being the absolute best part of the dinner. It was very yummy with white and dark chocolate :) We had strawberries, bananas, pound cake, brownies, cheesecake, and probably some others that I'm forgetting. Personally, the cheesecake was not good but the brownies were the best. Bananas I would have to say tied for first as well :D

Yummy.

Afterwards, I went over to Andrew's house and hung out with him, Danny, Tony, and a girl that I can never remember her name. It was fun, very chill and laid back. We smoked hookah and they were all facinated with putting dry ice at the base of it to watch it smoke (not IN the hookah, just outside of it of course.)

Saturday, yesterday, was a bit more chaotic. I woke up and did a tiny bit of homework, then had to start getting ready. I swung by Carrie's to pick her up but she wasn't there so I went over to my parents house to get my camera. On my way there, Carrie text me and told me that more people were coming. I told her I didn't have room in my back seat, and she said that she could drive but her car would probably end up breaking down. I really didn't feel like dealing with that, so I asked my parents if I could borrow Mom's car. She let me, and even filled the tank before I went to pick Carrie up again.

After I picked up Carrie and one of her friends, we went to The Mission and had lunch. I thought that we would be doing it as a part of Restaurant Week, but I'm guessing that we were there too early because they didn't even give us the menus for it. It turned out for the better though, because with the three of us we only built up a fifteen dollar bill. That's a lot better than the ninety I was expecting :P Carrie and I shared a Chipotle salad and Steven got mini tacos, Mahi Mahi style.

After lunch we met up with Carrie's friends and were off to the concert. It was further than we thought, and we were getting into Phoenix so we stopped at a gas station for directions. He told us that we still have a long ways to go, so again we got in the car and started driving. Steven started to complain about us going too far, but I told him that I still hadn't seen 99th avenue. Right as he finally convinced me to get off the freeway, we saw what looked like a concert setting, which ended up being the right place so we picked the perfect exit to get off on.

We parked at a nearby Costco and walked about a block to the enterence, after standing in line to get in, they informed me that I couldn't take "a camera with that type of lens in." They told me I could take it off and leave it with them; I told them heck no. So we walked all the way back to the car to put my camera away, which I wasn't too pleased about since I didn't want it sitting in the heat, but I had to deal. I asked Carrie if we should go get water, and she said it would be a good idea. We were very hot and sweaty since it was three in the afternoon and very, very warm outside. We started walking for the Costco, when I realized you have to have a card to get in. So we kept walking toward the Costco gas station, when we realized that there was no convienence store at that one. So we decided to try and see if we could get into Costco just to buy water, after all it was hot and why would they refuse money? The guy at the enterence was very rude about it however, as if I was stupid for even asking. So we walked back to the car so that we could drive to a nearby gas station; my feet were forming blisters by this point, so I wasn't in the best of moods.

Instead, I ended up dropping Carrie and them off at the concert enterence and went by myself to get water for everyone. I was so glad to be in the car with the AC. I passed the Cheveron on the corner and went to the QT down the street so that I wouldn't have to deal with traffic. By the time I got back to the concert it was five in the afternoon, which was fine by me since that's when all the bands I wanted to hear were coming on anyway. Otep was finishing up as I was walking up, which was the first band I wanted to hear. By that point it was cooling off so I was in a much better mood. Plus after getting patted down and searched, I was inside and my shoes were off. I walked barefoot around with Carrie while Steven went into the pit and the others disapeared. Carrie and I decided to sit while I ate ice cream and we just listened to the music. That's where we ended up staying for the whole night, since we accidently picked the perfect spot. We could see both stages and everyone pretty much moved around us.

Carrie got lots of compliments on her tattoo, and then a guy came and sat next to us. The music was loud, so I couldn't really hear anything that we was saying, but Carrie could so I just let them talk. Then a few of that guys friends came over too so we ended up with a circle. Eventually, Danny and his crew came and sat with us too, and then somehow we ended up in a u shape instead of a circle. I still haven't figured out how.

Danny arrived right as a band called Homo started playing. They only played about thirty seconds because they were so bad. It was a metal concert, but they were very bad rap. At first, we thought it was a joke, but apparently it wasn't. After that was Corey Taylor, which is the singer from Slipknot. He had thrown together a band in a kitchen of a party he went to, or at least that was the story. They were not bad at all, but they also were not metal at all. Needless to say people were a bit upset, and a lot of them left. Carrie and all of us left after they got off the stage just to beat the crowd. I kind of wanted to see Sevendust, but it was alright with me.

After I dropped my parents car off and talked with them a bit, I went back to Carrie's and we chilled a bit. Danny and them came over as well, but we all left around one. After that I was exahsted so I just passed out when I got home.

Overall, amazing weekend. Time for work now, blah!

Payday

Today is payday, so I checked on how I'm doing budget wise.

Paycheck: $543.45

Rent: $375.00

APS: $96.94

Cox: $32.95

SO!

After bills, I came out ahead $104.46 this pay period.

:) :) :)

I already had $253.66 in my checking;

transfered that into my savings.

[[Yay me!]]

Yesterday, a guest called me a b!tch for telling him that I had to get back to work. When Mike and I informed my boss, she immediately jumped from her chair and went to speak with him. He wasn't in the room, but his partner was, so she informed him that when he did get back it was necessary for him to come speak with her.

When Victoria came back to the office, she was all up in a huff about it. If there's one thing that bothers her, it's when her staff gets mistreated. She had Mike and I rolling on the floor laughing though because she said, "It's one thing if I call her a b!tch, she's my b!tch!" I found it hilarious, because in a way it's true :P

Carrie was putting in applications at the Extended Stays yesterday. She came to my hotel shortly after I left, but I told Victoria that she was on her way. Apparently, V liked her because she sent in the background check and everything else to get her in the process for hiring :) I'll never get to work with her, except for maybe a half hour on Fridays, but it'll be nice to have someone dependable at work.

My Weekend:

Friday (today) -

• Work. [6:30am-3:00pm]
• Grab camera from parents.
• Dinner @ Melting Pot with the Fam :) [5:45pm]
• Math homework.
• Drawing homework.

Saturday -

• Clean house, do laundry.
• Drawing homework.
• "Dinner" @ The Mission with CareBear [1:00pm]
• End of Summer Scorcher concert! :}
• Chill at my place with CareBear and Danny.

Sunday -

• Relax.
• Drawing homework.
• Work. [2:30pm-10:30pm]

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This has been a good week. School is stressful but going well, work is silly and fun, and my art teacher gave me an extention on my projects. Yayness. I can't imagine a better weekend to top it all off.

o(^.^o) o(^.^)^ o(^.^)o ^(^.^)o (o^.^)o

I <3 =D

There wasn't much exciting about today, but it was a good day :) Victoria had a bunch of interviews, and she let me evaluate them and give my two cents, not that she'll actually take it into consideration or anything but it was still fun! Then I went to school and was bored out of my mind. I never thought it would be so difficult to sit still for a few hours. I don't know how I did it in elementary school...

I thought I left my phone at school yesterday, but I found it in my couch. I had a bunch of texts waiting for me, so I spent quite a while catching up on them haha. Carrie is going to apply for the weekend shifts at my hotel, they finally gave V the okay to fire Pam after her next mistake. Technically she should have been fired already, but since Victoria wrote her up for whatever it was she couldn't fire her. But hey, as long as we get someone more compitant I don't really care. I know I can't spell, it's okay.

Victoria also told me about something called Arizona Resturaunt Week which ends on Saturday. I need to figure out where and how many are going on Saturday, but I think as of now Carrie and Emma are going for sure. It will be a nice fun girls dress up time before the concert :) I think I'm just going to pick the place though, because otherwise it may get fully booked. I think I'm going to go to Ruth Chris just because I actually recognize it and I know it's good. It's only thirty bucks for a three course meal, and I think it'd be fun to get all dressy and eat out with the girls. I just need replies on who's actually going :P

I'm so excited for Saturday now :)

I love weekends.

Too much energy, not enough to do. Other than homework. Blech.

September 22nd 2007

It's been two years since I was sent to Redcliff.

My heart still aches at the thought of it.

I couldn't sleep last night, just kept tossing and turning.

I still find myself crying when I read the letters that my parents and brother sent me.

Especially the ones that my brother sent me, since it wasn't often that I got them and I could tell that he had no idea what to say but he tried to be positive.

My journals make me laugh at how irrational I was sometimes, but I love the

[[memories.]]

I'm torn between loving the place and hating it.

I always have been, since day one of being there.

Even in my journal entries I keep saying how much I like it there

I just would rather have my friends there with me.

Well...

Until about half way, at which point I just started shutting down.

I didn't notice until after the fact, but it's an obvious change in attitude.

It started right when I missed the graduation that would have allowed me to be home for my brother's 21st birthday.

I'm writing about my experience in detail, and I was hoping to have it completed by today.

However, it's quite difficult to write about.

Hopefully,

I'll have it finished by December 31st 2009.

December something 2007 - September 22nd 2009.

I haven't changed that much :]

Blog Obsessed

Okay, so I guess I've become a bit blog obsessed. I try not to write about things that I won't care about a year from now, but sometimes I guess I just can't resist. I like to write about my day, and I like to read about other's. I always find myself disapointed when I'm reading a blog, and it comes to an end. I always want to know more. Whether it's about their day or involves pictures of the people that I rarely get to see, I'm always sucked right into the writing.

Currently, I'm writing a very detailed blog about Redcliff. Although, it gets kind of difficult at times. There are things that I remember vividly, and there are other things that I are fuzzy. I don't want to remember anything incorrectly, but I don't want to leave anything out either. For example, I can't remember a lot of the staff members names. Even the ones that I had repetedly, they have just seemed to have disapeared. Anyway, enough about that, since there's going to be a whole post dedicated to it :)

By the end of today, I will have worked five days this week, which I normally work four. It's never all that bad and I almost want to be a full time. Almost. I hate working the night shift, and the only way for me to get full time would be to work nights. After Jeanie left here, I was promised morning shifts five days a week, since I was already working five days a week one morning and four nights. I worked mornings for a while, but then Leslie forgot or something and ended up hiring someone who refused to work nights at all as a full time employee. So being a non-fulltime and all, they took away the mornings from me. I complained about it, and I had already scheduled my classes for nights so that the schedule wouldn't need to be changed once I went back to school after summer. Victoria worked out a schedule that was pretty crazy. I was supposed to work Tuesday night, Wednesday morning, Thursday night, and then Friday morning. Two turnaround shifts, which means I wouldn't get home till eleven and would have to turn around and come back at six. Not fun. Then V started working my Thursday nights and I covered the desk in the mornings, that way I only had one turnaround. Tammy still complains that she has to work Wednesday night, but we each have one night shift, Tammy me and V. When school started I had to switch with Pam to work Sunday nights so that I wouldn't lose another shift. Anyway, point is I would love to find a job where I could work Monday through Friday mornings. I can't really see myself leaving this one until after I'm out of school though. There is too much time to do homework that I really don't think I would be able to find anywhere else. Can't complain when you're getting paid to do your homework, right? Well, being the one that has been here the longest, I know the most. So when I get here in the morning, this is typically what my computer looks like:

Crazy huh? I don't mind. I like being able to answer questions, it makes me feel smart :)

I'm excited for the weekend, I get some time to do fun stuff. I need to finish all my homework today so that I don't need to worry about it. I want to go shopping this weekend, but I don't want to spend any more money since my credit card is pretty full and I want to be able to pay it on time. Not that my bill is due any time soon or anything, I just would rather be ahead. In fact, I think I'm going to put some money from my checking in there after I'm done writing this. Plus shopping is a total blast when you find things, but when you don't it's not so great. It's frustrating and puts me in a bad mood even, not usually but it can.

I know that there was something a little more important than all of this, but I can't remember what it was. I'll figure it out eventually.

Day to Day

RANDOM PICTURE!

(He was sleeping like this, but then he woke up because me a Jeff were laughing at him.)

I love my Zuzu.

(And this one is just because I don't have many of Weeny, but she'll sit like this for hours as long as there's no one else around.)

I love her too.

Work and school keep me quite busy, but I do have some down time. It's the kind of time where there's really not much you can do but if you do nothing you feel like it's a waste. So yesterday I decided to take advantage of the day off work and woke up semi-early. I spent some solid time getting ready; put makeup on, put on a cute outfit, did my hair, etc. and then decided to go pick up my camera from my parents. Nobody was home and so I just grabbed my stuff and checked the internet a bit since theirs is faster than mine. I then drove to Tempe Marketplace to go shopping since the last time I was there with family I saw a lot of stuff in the windows that I liked. Sadly, nothing jumped out at me. Shopping alone just isn't for me I guess, I can't sit and look at something long enough to decide if I like it, especially if there is a salesperson talking to me. I get kinda nervous shopping alone, although I don't know why. I guess that's why I like online shopping so much :)

I then went to Taco Bell before heading to school early. I'm behind on all of my drawing assignments so I figured why the heck not if I wasn't going to shop my time away, plus I didn't want to drive all the way home and then back to school in another hour or so.

My teacher got a glimpse of what I was drawing, and this is what she said word for word, "Wow, I guess I should give you more time to work on things huh?" I just looked at her. She's the one who has turned my beginning class into an advanced one, it's not my fault I'm falling behind. I'm not a bad artist, I'm just not experienced. I love drawing, LOVE IT. So it's not like I just give up after five seconds like I do with a lot of other stuff. I work hard until it's perfect and then I work on it some more. However, she expects us to get everything done within an hour, and it just doesn't work that way for me. She told me a couple weeks ago that she didn't think I have what it takes to do art; I'll show her. After all, just because I don't give two hairs what she thinks, that doesn't mean I can't prove her wrong :D I'm in the class to get better, and that's all that I can do.

Anyway, after class I went to my parents to pick up the spare since my phone has been turning on and off a lot. It's not necessarily broken, I just would rather not go without a phone so that can be the new spare.

Dad and I had some random and not so random conversations, as always; Mom and I also talked about hair dye and the frustrations of nail polish. I love it.

Today I worked, and it was a good day. I couldn't concentrate all too well, but I was hyper (from lack of sleep really) and everyone was in a good mood. I bought Starbucks for Martha, Mike, and me. Woohoo for Starbucks, especially when it ends up a lot cheaper when you think it will :]

I have got to say though, sitting for two and a half hours in an Astronomy Lab and then sitting for another two and a half hours for the actual class is not an easy task. The lab seems like it takes forever, since my teacher's version of a lab is to look up answers for packets on Google, so by the time the actual class starts I'm ready to go home. Especially since I work all day before and barely have time for lunch between. But I like staying busy, so there's really nothing to complain about. I did however have to take notes in my email to keep myself awake during lecture haha!

I ended my day with hookah at King Tut's with Natalie. It was so nice to just sit and chat, no drama no shit talking just chatting. She wants to hang out this weekend, so I'm excited.

This is a picture I found of me and Natalie at Homecoming Sophomore Year. I thought it would make a nice ending to today's blog post :)

Stupid Blogspot.

So I made a pretty template, buuuuut I don't know how to format I guess. So I'm stuck with this plane old one. I would take the time to figure it out, but it's time to do homework. Blech.

Prettyful template :)

Another One Bites the Dust

I don't feel well. Emotionally or physically. SO! I'm posting a picture of my kitties;this is what I see every time that I walk in my front door :)

Although, normally they're looking at me and meowing.

It just took too long for me to take the picture.

Halloween is in this picture, she just is too good at camouflage :)

Love Life

Sooo, I'm just a little bit annoyed right now. I typed up a very long blog, and then it got deleted while adding photos. Then, I typed again what I had written to the best of my abilities, and I again accidently deleted it by trying to add more photos. Gr. I'm going to type it ONE MORE TIME. After all, the third time is a charm right? Plus, I'm covering Jeff's shift at Homestead, so I have nothing better to do at the moment.

Last Friday (not last night but last Friday) I hung out with my CareBear. I realized that she is probably one of the best friends that I have ever had, she has never done anything to hurt me. No talking behind my back, no judging, none of that stuff that catty girls do. The only bump in our relationship that I can remember is from when she lived with me; not realizing how much it costs to live on your own, she thought I was ripping her off bill wise. But it still has yet to affect our friendship, and even though we don't hang out very often it's always wonderful when we do. Not to mention a total blast :)

Then last Saturday, I hung out with my parents and went to the ASU game with them. I noticed a few familiar faces on the guard team, and it got me thinking about my sophomore year in high school. I may not have liked the cattiness and the backstabbing of SOME of the girls on the guard team, but I have to admit that I did have a lot of fun with them. Even after I quit guard, Natalie and I stayed friends. We had English together right after lunch first semester, and all I really remember is talking and giggling with her about tiny little happenings. It was fun. Anyway, I decided to message her over Facebook to let her know that I thought her team did well during their performance at the game, and that I think their uniforms are totally cute :) We ended up chatting back and forth over the past few days, and now we have plans to hang out again soon. I'm very excited.

Before working on this blog today, I had read all of Mandy's blog posts. It was really interesting to see how mature and grown up she has become, and makes me proud to say that she was once my best friend. Her good natured-ness (for lack of better words) made me sad to think that we no longer see each other nor do we speak as much as I would like to. I miss her greatly, and reading her posts made me wonder a bunch of what ifs. We never really had a fight or anything that I remember, we simply started on different paths at some point. So that makes me curious as to what would have happened had we not separated.

Aaaand, just because I can't think of any other better place to put it, this is a quote that Mandy had in one of her blogs, "Saying you love someone and not showing it doesn't constitute as love." As soon as I read this quote, I knew that it is perfect. I absolutely adore it <3

Recently, I had been having difficulty with people in general. I'm usually pretty good about having faith and trusting them, but with all of the bad relationships and broken friendships, I didn't know what to think anymore and I started to doubt the good in others. However, Mandy and Natalie have both sparked my interest and made me realize (again) that just because some people aren't what I expected, doesn't mean that there aren't good people out there. They have caused me to strive to better myself even more than I was before.

Myself:

Positive-

• I smile as much as I can.
• I am always there for those that I care about.
• I care about everyone.
• I will never turn away someone in need.
• I do my best to be my best.
• I love. Period.
• I never give up hope.
• I know that there is always room for change.
• I forgive very easily.
• I understand that just because today was awful, that doesn't mean that tomorrow won't be amazing.

Negative-

• I let others influence my decisions.
• I am needy.
• My emotions get the better of me at times.
• I can't stay angry ever, even when I should.
• I dwell on the past a lot.

In other news... I went on a date with a guy named Jeff last night. It wasn't all that bad, but it wasn't great either. Needless to say there won't be another date. He was nice and cute and had a future planned out for himself unlike the other guys that I have dated in the past, but he just wasn't what I want I guess. He talked a lot, mainly about sports. Like I said, it wasn't bad and I didn't really mind because I would rather listen than talk, but at the same time he repeatedly asked if I was nervous because I wasn't talking. It got annoying after the third time or so, since it wasn't even my fault. But it's okay, I had a little bit of fun. I mean, it got me out of the house in the very least. I knew it wouldn't go anywhere anyway. One because I don't think I could date someone seriously with the same name as my brother, but more-so than that he is allergic to cats. I love my babies, and nothing will ever keep me away from them.

I know, no new ones of Weeny. She's just too skittish, not to mention fast for the camera.

I'm not obsessed, only in love <3

Okay, maybe I'm a little obsessed :)

Aaaand, just because I can, here are some random photos :)

I don't think this post would be complete without some family photos.

FYI- this post took me a total of seven plus hours.

Correction. Eight plus hours.

Ohmigosh. 

Finally, I'm done.

But only until next time :D