Memories of My Babies

I thought that Zeus' birthday was the day he had a seizure.

(Which btw, he has seemed fine since - no more scares C:)

Actually, his birthday is today,

and that was the day of Spaz and Weeny's birthday.

I now have two, two year olds

and a one year old.

I cannot imagine doing so with children!

Spaztik was named by my ex-roommate Carrie

As a kitten, she was pretty weary of people

that is, until Carrie fed her macaroni one day.

Ever since then, she has been very people oriented.

Her and Weeny took to me more than Carrie,

and they both took a side by my head as kittens while I was sleeping.

One day, I came home to a gash on Spaz's neck.

The two sisters have always playfully fought,

but apparently it got brutal that day

and then since I had been at school and work,

her collar had rubbed against it and caused it to swell.

I washed it, and then a couple days later it didn't look like it was healing

I called a nearby vet and set up an appointment;

It was time they got their first shots anyway.

After that event, Spaz became the dominant one.

Alaina brought her laser pointer over once,
and we got Spaz to literally climb all the way up the wall
and touch the ceiling before she came tumbling back down.
I've never laughed so hard in my life :]

When we ride in the car,
Spaz likes to sit in the back seat and look out the window
as long as the window is closed that is.
She also likes to lay against the back windshield.

Spaztik actually got really upset when Aaron stopped coming around
Aaron was Colt's friend
and he would come over and cook and hang out
but he would spend literally hours petting Spaz
and she pouted for quite a while
after he didn't show up for a week or so.
She still craves way more attention than what I can give her at times!

Spaz is my curious kitty
she's the one I always find at the top of my closet
in my dresser drawers
trapped in cabinets
on top of the TV
and anywhere else she can find a way to hurt herself.

She's also my mama cat.
When Zeus first came around,
she actually got lots of orange hairballs
from bathing him.
She still chases him around
trying to give him a bath,
but he's stronger now
and has learned to bathe himself as well.

Spaz will sit for hours staring at the spot of a flashlight.
I think it keeps Jeffrey just as entertained.

One time,
Aaron and Colt let Spaz and Weeny wander out
while Alaina and I went to get food.
I came home and was very upset.
I managed to chase Weeny back in,
but I had to tackle Spaz about three condos down.

My little Halloweeny was the aggressive cat at first

until that little bite fiasco

Her name was actually Spaztastik before then,

but then Carrie stole the name

so Weeny actually went nameless for quite a while.

I named her Halloween around that time of the year

because as a kitten she had bright orange eyes

and she's all black including her whiskers.

The nickname "Weeny" didn't come until a little later.

Colt used to hang around a lot

and he isn't too fond of cats.

He started kicking them out of the bedroom

and they actually weren't allowed in there

for the whole time we dated as long as he was there

which I never really understood

I also caught him throwing Halloween down the hall like a football once

and then a couple weeks later

we were in the car

and he held her out the window while we were moving

because she wouldn't stop whaling.

That helped.

This is where the nickname Weeny came into play.

From that point on it was always hard to touch her

she would come up wanting attention,

but then as soon as you would stick your hand out to pet her,

she'd take off as fast as she could for a hiding spot.

Recently, she's gotten a lot better.

It's been an official year since Colt and I broke up

and Weeny can sit and be pet for long periods

I even got her to lay on Jeffrey's chest the other night :)

A while back,

there was a hole in my wall behind the washer and dryer

Weeny crawled into it one day

and then got stuck.

It took me nearly two hours to get her out

and she bit my hands several times in the process.

She wanted out so bad

but she couldn't stand sideways to get a good jump

and then the first time I reached my hand down

I grabbed her by the throat to try and pull her up

that just freaked her out more.

I was scared she was going to wander too far back

and get stuck under the house.

Eventually,

I grabbed her by the back of the neck

and pulled her up.

I know it hurt her,

but I had to go to work and it was the only way to get her out

without tearing up the wall.

Weeny's favorite place to lay is the silverwear drawer.

Jeff hates it, I think it's fascinating.

I can't sit on the toilet without having her come running.

She loves to be pet in the bathroom,

I still haven't figured out why.

Recently, I put bathmats down

so the door doesn't open easily

and Weeny is the only one that can fit through the small gap she makes

so when Zeus tries to come through

she swats at him

and his paw reaches back for her,

but she'll jump back and taunt him as long as she can.

I try not to leave the leg rests up on the couch anymore,

because Weeny likes to crawl up under there.

When Jeff first moved in,

he didn't know this.

I couldn't find Weeny one day

and Zeus and Spaz were spending a curious amount of time

staring and pawing at one of the couch sections.

I kinda looked over

and then I saw a black paw shoot out from underneath.

Poor girl was stuck in the couch.

Weeny has also recently

started chasing Zeus around the house.

Zeus loves it.

Zeus Oscar is my newest addition.

I haven't even had him for a year yet

and he's already my favorite

but don't tell the others that!

I wanted to name my next pet after Greek mythology

and I just knew this kitten was going to be a player.

Alaina liked the name Oscar better,

so we decided that was his middle name.

I should have taken more time to name him

I think I would have done Simba instead.

He acts just like the lion cub from Lion King.

When I saw Zeus in the window at PetsMart

I just couldn't resist.

He came up to the window and banged with his paw;

it was love at first sight.

When I brought Zuzu home,

the other cats were just fine with him...

for a while.

Then they didn't like him so much.

I had to sleep with him on my bed

and then he would be too scared to get up until I did

so he wet my bed a couple of times.

Eventually he realized that he was a little pimp

and every person that came into my house

loved him.

So then he just took over

and didn't let the other two cats boss him around.

Zeus sleeps with his head hanging out of the hole of the cat houses,

or digs at the covers until I let him crawl under with me

where he purrs for hours.

I sleep on the top bunk

and Zuzu doesn't know how to jump well

so I often wake up to him hanging from the edge of the railing

trying desperately to get his back legs over.

He just recently learned to jump onto the kitchen counter :)

When my brother's friends come over,

they like to open the door

and leave the screen door shut.

I came home from work one night

and couldn't help but laugh:

Zeus was hanging half way up the screen.

He also likes to chew on cords.

It's very annoying, and expensive.

As a kitten,

he LOVED Easy Mac.

As a kitten,

he HATED bath time after eating Easy Mac.

Jeff fed all the cats tuna the other night.

It was their first taste of it.

I swear Zeus licked his mouth

for an hour and a half after.

Zeus still tries to curl up on shoulders,

laps, necks, etc

like he did when he was small.

It doesn't work out so well.

In fact,

his favorite place in the car

is to sit behind the driver's neck.

Now that he's bigger,

it's not as comfortable

and he tends to have to re-situate a lot.

He's recently taken a liking to the back windshield.

He loves to stare out the window,

but if we start moving he gets nervous.

The other day,

I got up for work and got ready

I noticed that when I fed the cats

Zuzu was nowhere in site.

Odd.

When I went into the living room,

I heard a faint meow

I opened my brother's bedroom door,

nothing.

I opened my brother's bathroom door,

nothing.

I didn't want to be late for work,

so I figured worse came to worse

I would find him stuck somewhere later.

When I opened the front door,

he ran inside.

Poor guy had been out all night.

He likes to roll around in the grass outside

but he hates the tree.

He never knows which house to return to

and always ends up going across the way.

He's kind of a dummy at times.

One of Zeus' favorite things to do,

is go for car rides.

Unless, we're leaving Mom and Dad's

he hates that.

If he gets the chance,

he'll run back to their door.

When we leave Petsmart,

he does the same thing.

He always wants to go play on the cat trees.

All three of my cats are my babies. I do feel like a crazy cat lady at times, but that's okay. They all love my parent's house - Weeny has lots of hiding spots, Spaz has room to roam, and Zeus (or Zeusy as my mom calls him) has lots to explore and play with; including an unknown cat to torment. I can't wait to have a house for them to roam in :)

Waiting

Talk about blog overload...

I logged on to four new blogs by my cousin Jessie

and one by Mandy.

Exciting :]

I've gotten to work another 40 hr week this week

Tammy is moving houses

so I'm working her shifts :)
Work on top of hw has not been easy this week

but I've managed so far

I have a math test tomorrow :(

So between working from 630-230 and hw

I haven't gotten much fun time since Vegas.

Natalie picked me up from work yesterday though,

and we went for a lovely outing together.

We went to watch guard teams compete in nationals;

it was fun, but made me miss dancing.

I was slightly nervous about drama starting,

but I ended up seeing an old friend

and we got to talk a little.

It was great :]

I was very happy.

I think the house in Vegas is pretty much mine,

it just has to go through inspection.

I have officially been accepted into UNLV as well

so it looks like I'm really leaving.

It's scary, but I'm excited too.

I had a dream last night about moving

and after my parents left to go home,

I just kind of stood in the middle of my living room going

"Now what?"

It's a frightening thought.

I can't just drive to my parents when I'm bored,

I can't go sit at The Park whenever I feel like it,

I can't sit and laugh with my brother until the early morning hours...

But I'll get to have new experiences

and be thrown from my comfort zone :)

I know there was something else I was going to say. But I don't remember.

Reincarnation

Sorry,

I had to post this.

If Hitler were reincarnated into a cat...

...this is exactly what he'd look like.

Bahahaha!

Cold

I remember when I was younger,
I used to poke fun at Mom for shivering.
She'd have goosebumps in the summer!
But, it was justified.
For some reason,
Arizonan business owners feel like
they have to crank the A/C full blast;
In reality it just makes matters worse.
I very much dislike going  from 100* to 60*
just by walking inside somewhere...

However,
now it seems like I'm always cold.
My coworkers can't stand it
because I turn off the A/C all together,
which makes the office get to be about 80*
Personally,
That's the lowest it can be for me to be comfortable.

Right now,
I'm at my brother's work covering a shift.
They have all the television and internet equipment in the office,
so the A/C is supposed to be set to around 67*
I'm freezing!
I can't wear a jacket because of uniform,
so instead I have my knees curled up to my chest
and am hoping for something to come up
that will allow me to run around the hotel like a crazy person.

At my hotel,
a few guests have accused me of being anemic.
I've looked into it a little,
and to be honest it is a possibility.
But in all reality,
I think I'm just a whimp!

 ♥

Home Sweet Home

I had so much fun in LasVegas.

No,

I didn't do any partying

nor did I go to any of the amazing shows

but I did look for my soon-to-be home.

Guess what?

I found a great possibility :)

I walked into a three bedroom condo

and immediately fell in love.

It didn't have the two stories

or the garage

or the double master-suites

like the other one we narrowed it down to;

it has blue carpeting

and a couple of dice stuck in the slate floors of the guest bathroom,

but that just made me love it that much more.

I love it's close parking

slate floors

the dark cabinets

black appliances

silver harware

gigantic master bedroom

and perfect bathroom

♥

An offer has been sent in

and now I get the pleasure of waiting impatiently.

School:

Another thing I get to oh so joyously wait for,

is March 26th

Why that day?

Because that is the day I will learn

if I have been accepted to UNLV or not.

Grades:

College Algebra = A (97% on Midterm!)

English Literature = ? (76% on Midterm)

English History = ? (? on Midterm)

Public Speaking = A+ (No Midterm)

Logic = B- (No Midterm)

*I hate when teachers don't upload grades for online classes

Spring Break wasn't much of a break this time.

Worked Sat and Sun,

Vegas home search Mon-Thurs

Work Fri-Sun

Mon... school starts again :/

Lame!

My Baby

I got up early this morning

so that I could have laundry done by high time

(noon)

but then, I couldn't go back to sleep.

So, instead I watched a movie.

About five minutes into it,

Zeus decided to come curl up with me,

as usual.

He fell asleep with his head up

and started snoring.

As I was petting him,

I noticed he was shaking a bit-

and drooling.

I laughed as I watched him,

he always has dreams about running

or something of the like...

But then his eyes opened and rolled into the back of his head,

his head dropped suddenly

and he started shaking more vigorously.

I got scared and tried not to move,

since he was laying on top of me.

After a solid minute,

he lifted his head and looked at me,

then stood and stumbled off the couch.

I got up and pet him,

checking to see if anything seemed

out of the ordinary.

But after that, he was fine again.

He played with Spaz

and then napped with me for the remainder of the movie.

I checked to see if it's possible

for cats to have seizures,

apparently it's one of the more common illnesses in cats.

The site I looked at

suggested going to the vet

and getting some tests done.

They said it could be epilepsy,

or in worst case it could be a tumor of some sort.

I'm almost tempted to just wait it out,

see if it happens again.

Maybe it was a one time thing???

The only time the seizures are serious

(according to the site)

is when they happen less than 30 days apart.

In which case,

medication would need to be given

every 12-24 hours.

What a miserable thing to have to do!

I just don't want to wait for another to happen,

and then something really serious evolves from it.

I mean,

the seizures themselves do no harm,

as long as he doesn't fall from a high place

or something else of the sort.

But then,

one cause of the seizures

is inflammation in the brain tissue.

If that's the case,

he could end up having a stroke!

...

I'm trying to think this out clearly.

I'm trying to not over-react.

It could have been a fluke after all...

but what if it wasn't?

I guess I'm just going to have to take him to the vet.

Now the question is what kind of money will all those tests cost?

My cats are my family,

and I knew the responsibility of taking them in.

I always knew that it was possible for one to get sick,

so I've been kinda-sorta prepared to fork over money for something like that.

But not until much later

Zuzu isn't even a year old yet!

Hopefully,

I'm looking into this too deep.

Maybe, it really was just a dream he was having.

And yes, I know...

I understand he's

"just a cat"

but I'm attached at the heart strings.

He's my baby!

I don't want to lose him.

♥♥♥

Daily Activities

Yesterday,

I did homework.

Math first, then English History, and then Logic.

(Logic homework doesn't seem logical to me.)

I went to class,

where we were let out ealry

because it was too hot in the room.

I think it was 80*F

You would think Arizonan's

wouldn't think 80 was hot.

Personally,

I was comfortable

even bundled in my winter coat.

I returned to my parent's

to finish Logic homework

It was a very long day,

to say the least.

There are few people in my life

that I concider to be my heros.

Slowly, one of them has been slipping away.

At first I thought nothing of it,

but now I'm sad.

To look up to someone so much for so long,

and then have them turn out so different...

It's a difficult thing to swallow.

Today,

I filled out a few applications.

One for Camp Bow Wow

One for Petsmart Hotel

and one for Medicine Wheel.

The last one I didn't intend on sending in,

and I've already deleted it.

Medicine Wheel is the adult portion

of Redcliff Ascent.

A couple days ago,

Molli posted her slideshow of pictures from there,

and several of the girls who attended

said the same thing:

"I feel like this is where I need to be right now."

I felt the same way.

There is a feeling that I get from that place,

something I will never be able to explain

at least not to those who have never been.

It's not a pleasent place to be,

and it's hard to keep your spirits up.

And yet,

I want to do it all over again.

I was in such a hurry to get out,

that I didn't get to experience what I could have.

I feel like if I went to Medicine Wheel...

I don't really know I guess.

I try so hard to be my best

and to do my best,

but I would love to do the things they do there.

I guess the biggest thing

would be that it's a break.

There are no cell phones

no computers

no contact with the outside world

(with the exception of a few old-fashioned letters.)

I feel like I'm in such a hurry sometimes,

there is so much I want to do with my life!

It'd be nice to be able to slow down,

not worry about money

or work

or school...

Just pure focus on me

and every potential that I have!

So, why not go?

First, it costs a lot of money.

A lot!

Secondly, 30 days is the minimum.

Yes, that would be a great vacation from life.

But then I would come back,

and I've done that once before.

The biggest regret that I have about RCA

was that I didn't get

a real senior year of high school.

When at such a place,

time stands still for you.

But when you come back,

everyone else has continued.

It's not a pleasent feeling.

Anyway,

point is I miss Redcliff.

It's a weird thing I never thought I'd say

but it's true.

The other applications that I did,

are both for pet-related jobs.

I feel like it would be the greatest!

If I can't have a dog of my own,

why not take care of other's?!

But, I'm moving in three months.

Who is going to want to hire someone

for such a short period of time???

We'll see.

I think I'm going to try getting a job both places

after I move as well.

They both have locations

in Vegas :)

Speaking of Vegas,

I CAN'T FREAKING WAIT TO GO!

I'm getting more and more excited

to look for my new home :}

Cousin Maddeline just turned 4,

next year,

I'll get to go to her bday party c:

(As long as I'm invited ;p)

Things like that excite me.

Midterms are this week and next.

Blech!

♥

Where Does Your Priority Lie?

Tonight I had history class. My teacher told pretty interesting lectures tonight; we got to hear a bit about Socrates. My teacher told us a story:

Socrates spent most of his time wondering through Athens speaking with groups of people. One day, a young man tapped on his shoulder after the group Socrates was talking to had dispersed and said, "Teach me knowledge." Socrates said nothing, turned and walked to the next gathering of people. Again, when the crowd went their separate ways, the young man tapped on his shoulder and said, "Teach me knowledge." He said nothing, turned and walked to the next discussion group. Once more, when the people parted, the young man tapped on Socrates' shoulder and said, "Teach me knowledge." Socrates turned and walked opposite of the city. He walked to the edge of the river, continued to the water came to his waist, and further still until the water went to his shoulders. The young man followed him. Socrates turned to face him, raised his arms, and pushed him under the water. The young man struggled and tossed until he ran out of air. Socrates then picked him up and laid him out on the bank of the river, then walked back into Athens to talk with people more. The young man woke up spitting water and then realized that Socrates tried to murder him. He ran into the city and when he found Socrates, he was not patient as before; he did not wait for the conversations to be over but instead grabbed him by the shoulders and forcefully turned him around, "Why did you try to kill me?!" Socrates simply stated, "When you want knowledge as badly as you wanted air, come see me."

My teacher then asked, "Where does your priority lie?" I went off on a mental tangent about where my priorities are, but I couldn't quite figure out where knowledge is.

Do you know where your knowledge priority is?

Picture Update

It's been a while since I've uploaded any pictures, so I thought I'd do a re-cap of the past couple months :)

Christmas Eve
I brought Zeus to Grandma S's


He had fun under the tree
and in the presents :)

Then Candy started chasing him around the house... so I grabbed him.


Candy jumped at him
when I wasn't looking.
This was the result:


Family Pictures:

This is my brother's Xmas gift:

His name is Ka
:)

I don't understand how anyone
can say that Arizona
isn't beautiful:


I felt like taking a picture of an orange tree.


School is kicking my butt.

These are all my books.
Ouch.

I have four books for math alone:

Plus practice CD's.
But at least I'm learning.
Plus, it's my last math class :)
Ever :D

I got some video games
to fool around with
when not doing homework.

My brother got bored
since I was hogging the TV
so he took a picture :P

Yesterday was my twentieth birfday :}

Yes, I'm wearing a crown.
I wore it all day.
I got a free pretzel from Auntie Anne's
and coupons for a bunch of other places.

Mom, Dad, Jeff, and Keri
went with me to Black Angus
where I almost missed dessert,
but they caught me
as I was walking out.

My teacher thought it was sweet
that I came to school on my birthday.
Darn.
I could have ditched a day.
Especially since we didn't do anything.
But oh well.

On a different topic,
I took a picture of Zeus
because his legs looked like a frog's.
When I called his name,
he looked up at me.
This was the result:



I love my baby ♥

END.

Pretty

I can't stop looking at these:



I just think they're gorgeous :)
It has my favorite flower
[[Stargazer Lily]]
and it has blue(ish purple)
Pwetty.
:}

Bargain

I'm very proud of this purchase:
Store: Payless

Price: $3.50

:)

Life In General

Random updates:

I dyed my hair again.

The tips are now red, blue, and blonde.

No, I didn't make the

"red white and blue"

realization until right before.

I'll post a picture after I charge my camera.

I have a lecture due tomorrow for EnglishHistory.

Every time I think about it,

I feel like my heart is beating so fast

that it's going to jump out my throat

and flop around on the floor

like a fish out of water.

[[Pretty picture, don't ya think?]]

I mean,

the whole class is going to use my lecture

to learn about the upcoming chapter.

I'm not a teacher!

[[Please don't make me do this!]]

I'll do fine, but it still makes me nervous.

I've swiched to working only nights.

It makes things a little easier,

because I only have to deal with Laila

and only for about an hour or two per shift.

I can deal with that.

I'm so anxious to go look at houses

I get to go for Spring Break

[[if work lets me off]]

I can't wait!

School scares me.

I turn 20 on Wednesday

I don't have any special plans

:/

Skin Color

I just got done reading an article on Yahoo! ranting and raving about how the cover of Vanity Fair not having enough diversity on it because all the girls are white. A while ago, Vogue published a magazine with only black girls in it. I don't understand why skin color is such a big freaking deal! So what if all the girls are white? Some have blonde hair some have brown one has red... technically they could all be from different decents. Is that not diversity? I guess my point is that if people would stop paying attention to the color of others' skin, it just wouldn't even matter anymore. Whether you look at skin color in a possitive or negative way, it's still racist. Period.

All of the below models/actresses say that they are a specific race. Can you tell what they are?

Disrespect

I hate when I'm trying to talk to someone,
and they flat out ignore the conversation.
It may be their phone,
video games,
a book,
emails,
or nothing at all
but they just plain out don't respond.
It happens at home,
at friends',
and at work.
I am sick of it.

I'm trying to study for my math test
and get all of chapter one's hw done,
but the video games are blaring,
and he won't stop screaming at that damn TV.
Seriously?
A little respect please!
I need an office of some sort.

The realtor for ZipRealty
won't leave me alone!
I've told her I won't be coming
not at least until Spring Break,
but she won't stop sending emails
pestering me for information.
Leave me alone!

I hate how some see me
just because I'm a teenager.
Older women give me dirty looks in stores,
especially in the pricier ones.
Sometimes I even hear them saying
rude comments
about how teenagers need to grow up.
Really?
Ask anyone that knows me.
I am no typical teenager
and I respect you,
why can't you do the same for me?

I have had a credit card for over a year
and never had a late payment
nor have I ever not paid
the full amount!
And yet,
when I tried to get a better card
they denied me
and I'm sure it's only because of my age.
Annoying.

These are all tiny little issues
that really don't mean anything
but at the same time
I hate being disrespected.
So,
I decided to rant :]

kthanksbye!
♥

School and Such

Not gonna lie, this semester is a little overwhelming to take in! But I am ahead in two of my online classes :) It's going to be hard to keep up I can tell, so my goal is to stay ahead. One of the classes has three weeks of work posted right now, but after that he says he will only be posting one week at a time; I aim to get everything for the scheduled week done within the first day or two that he posts the information. The other class has all of the work posted already so I've slowly been working on the assignments there.

My math class is a different story. I'm getting a bit worried, because I haven't been able to log on yet to the actual site. I can get on WebCT where she has the introduction and everything, but the coursecompass is saying that I am registered but not letting me on. I've emailed tech support as well as my teacher but have yet to get a response from either. If I don't hear from my teacher by Monday I'm going to try to get a phone number to contact her. The issue is that if there are assignemnts that are passed already then that means I'm already behind in the class and if she won't let me make them up then... it's just not a good start! I thought about dropping and re-enrolling, but all the classes are taken and the late start classes don't have the right math class.

I got a bit mad when I realized that I could have bought my book for logic class through the website for only $30 (it cost $153 from the bookstore!) I'm going to see if I can return it at MCC but all returns have to be done by the 26th and when I went to pick up my books the returns line was over an hour wait! Blech! I'm hoping they're open tomorrow and there won't be too many people there :D

On a different note, I tried to sign me and my dad up for The Amazing Race today... I didn't realize I have to be 21 :( Hopefully the race is still goin' by then! I think it would be a blast!!!

I've been thinking more and more about becoming a teacher at some point- the classes just look so fun! Plus, the teachers have got to love what they do; they're teaching people how to be teachers... you HAVE to like what you do in that situation, right??? But still, it wouldn't be anytime soon.

I seem to have a new obbsession with mushrooms. I don't know where it came from, but I cannot get enough of them! Mushroom swiss burgers, mushroom chicken from Panda, mushroom and meatball subs from Tessio's (I know, I know, it's a weird combination but I love it!) Currently, I'm eating a steak and mushroom sub (from Tessio's) with mozz cheese and fried mushrooms on the side... see what I mean when I say I'm obbsessed? To be honest, I'm not too fond of the fried mushrooms, I only got them to get above the delivery price. They're good, but I'm really not too big of a fan of fried foods.

I am so not taking any classes this summer... I am ready for a break. I've been in school since Spring of 2009 nonstop and although I've had a few days or maybe a week or two between semesters, I still feel like a couple months is well-deserved. I like the summer courses and the winter-intersession, but I think from now on I may just stick to the regular semesters.

Fall 2008: 15 credits

Spring 2009: 17 credits

Summer 1 2009: 3 credits

Summer 2 2009: 3 credits

Fall 2009: 17 credits

Winter 2009-2010: 4 credits

Spring 2010: 16 credits

Total taken at MCC: 75 credits

As I am doing this I realized something pretty interesting... my art grade still has yet to show up on my transcripts. No big deal, right? NO WAY! I'm so angry; I already wrote a letter and gave it to my advisor to give it to whom he see fit about that teacher; now it's Spring semester and my grade hasn't been posted? What the heck?! Whatever, I'll figure it out eventually :)

Self Esteme

Girls are stupid.

and I mean that in the most affectionate way ♥

Like most girls, if not all,
I catch myself criticizing everything that I do,
everything that I am.
Recently,
I've realized that it's all in comparison:

When I see a girl happier than me,
I tell myself I don't do enough.
When I see a girl skinnier than me,
I tell myself I am not fit enough.
When I see a girl smarter than me,
I tell myself I don't study enough.

It just goes on and on
and in high school,
I even wrote a poem about it:
"Just a fallback, a second choice

Never amazing, only good-enough
Never stunning, only pretty
Never brilliant, only smart
Why am I only okay?"

Although I've grown up,
and my views have changed,
I still find myself thinking about these things.

The other day someone called me ugly,
they even made fun of my nose.
(which I have always been insecure about)
I've never been called ugly before
and although I know I'm not a perfect ten,
I know that I am not ugly.
But still,
it has bothered me
a lot more than I thought it would-
or even could for that matter.

But why?
It doesn't matter what some guy says!

Also in high school,
one of my friends seriously worried me.
At 120lbs,
some guy called her fat!
This was the result:
I still remember her crying,
I still remember catching her in the bathroom,
I still remember her passing out during class...
I hate the person that hurt her,
but I also hate that it affected her like this.

Some days it's easier than others;
we can just shrug it off,
what do they know?!
But at other times,
the criticism wins.

Sometimes I find it hard
to believe that I'm a good person.
I've messed up so much,
and most of it has been recently.
I don't have a best friend,
I don't have a boyfriend,
and sometimes that really gets to me.
But in reality,
it just gives me more time
to be the best that I can be.

I've let this post stray a bit,
but my point is that
we need to stop comparing.
(I still can't put the words in the right places.)
Some people are going to like you,
others won't be able to stand you.
It's just the way the world works,
and as long as YOU like who you are,
that's all that really matters.

After all,
eventually,
[[Everything will be okay.]]

Simplicity

I woke up this morning feeling under the weather; my throat was soar and I had a cough that sounded like a dying whale. So, I decided to stay curled up in my confusing, sleeping-bag-like blanket while watching TV until lunch time. I was stranded at my parents anyway, since my mom and I took my car in to the auto shop yesterday afternoon. Around noon, Mom picked me up and took me to Subway before dropping me off to wait for my car to be ready. The mechanics told me that I needed a new battery, but the guy at Checker told me I didn't. Now I'm a little worried my car is just going to randomly die on me one of these days...

I couldn't help but laugh at myself when I got home. I started to put my new hamper together and realized that I put the top corners on the bottom and now they're stuck, so the top has wheels sticking straight up in the air. That's what I get for not reading the instructions I guess.

When I got to work I tried my hardest to stay out of Laila and Christine's way. They were both in rotton moods and I kept getting snapped at for things I had no control over... once they left though my night went super fast. I didn't have any time to work on homework, which is a bit disappointing, but I'm off until class at seven tomorrow, so I can catch up then. Most of all the guests today were in pretty good moods. I had several of the regulars come down to chit chat while I was busy, but I didn't really mind. I enjoy "hanging out" with the guests- it's the best part of my job! There was one guy (who is always picking fights with me) that straight up yelled at me tonight, but I just told him he doesn't have to stay there. He wasn't happy with it, but it got him to sign the paperwork that needed to be done.

The drive home was the best part of my night I think; rain always puts me in a better mood :) I started off listening to the violin introductions of a Josh Groban song, and then listened to Lullaby. After that I decided to turn off the radio and listen to the rain... it was calming. I wanted to take pictures, but I was driving so I figured that would be a pretty bad idea.

When I got home my cats were all asleep next to one another, but quickly came to greet me when I turned on the light. I decided to open the sliding door for the cats to stare out the screen; they don't see rain often so it always seems to fascinate them. That and I just love to listen to the rain so it's always nice to leave it open.

Final

I took last night off work

so that I could go to Keri's to study.

Too bad Keri was busy D:

I did a lot of studying on my own,

but I got a bit frustraited toward the end.

At around nine pm,

I passed out on my parents' couch.

Then Mom woke me up this morning

and I studied more.

Wow,

what a life I have!

:P

I must admit

I knew more on the test

than what I did on the practice

which is good.

Before I looked at my grade,

I saw these on CharlotteRusse.com:

I promised myself that if I got a C

(or above)

I would buy them for myself.

Only $16.49

plus an additional 50% off another item :}

Unfortunately,

I got a 68%

My overall grade is a 69.7%

if it doesn't get rounded up,

I'm going to throw a temper tantrum.

All that work for nothing?!

Obviously,

I'm going to have to figure something out

something different to do

that will help me on tests.

I'm tempted to take a class in person,

but I've never done well in them before,

what would be different this time?

Plus I don't know how happy my bosses would be,

I would have to swich back to nights

and that would mess up their schedule.

I found the item I would have gotten for 50% off:

So cute!

And only $6

Oh well,

there will always be more clothes to buy :)

Ouch!

I finished up all of the math homework that I can while at work. Unfortunately, I left my calculator at home, so some of it I'm going to have to do after I'm off. This is my last chapter for the class! As I was doing the practice test though, I realized that I'm definately going to need to go over to Keri's and get some tutoring before my final. I am not ready. Laila scheduled me to work tomorrow night, so Mom suggested that I ask Carrie to cover for me. Carrie said that she will do so, which is good, but Laila isn't happy about it. Why? I'm not so sure. I refuse to do poorly in this class- I have been doing okay so far and I'd like to keep it that way! I have a high C and if I can just drill enough of the material into my brain before the test, I may be able to raise that to a B! If I do as well on the final as I did the midterm, I can rais it to an A. If that were to happen, I think I would faint. But it is possible! Seriously, I'm buying myself a car if I get straight A's this semester.

On that note, poor Virginia (my car) isn't doing so hot. I love her to death, and my goal is to get two more years out of her, which would make her seven. I hate to admit it, but I haven't taken the greatest care of her. She's got a hole in her bumper from when I rearended a retired cop, several scratches on the back bumper from people rear ending me, chips and dings from the morrons at my complex, and the interior has a lot of stains. Now she's starting to rattle a bit when I break, and when I go kinda slow she makes a funny sound. I'm hoping it has to do with being overdue for an oil change, because other than that all of her issues are cosmetic.

Back to the topic of school, I decided to buy my textbooks tonight since classes start this week. Wanna guess how much all my books cost? $505.59 Seriously?

Thieves!!!

What's worse, that doesn't include shipping. I wanted to be lazy and have everything shipped to my parents, but when I realized that it was a $30 charge on top of that (more if I wanted them on time) I said psh! and decided to pick them up at the MCC bookstore. I shopped around, but MCC is getting sneaky. Some of their books are made only for MCC students, and you can't get them anywhere else! Two of my books were MCC only copyrights! I did find one of my textbooks for more than $100 cheaper through Barnes and Noble- who gave me free shipping! See? Why can't MCC be that nice??? Amazon was charging even more than MCC, and I didn't even want to attempt Half.com or Ebay this semester (cheap but crappy quality/wrong books.)

Jeans

I haven't been able to think of anything blog-worthly as of late. It's the same old stuff goin' on right about now. I've been racking my brain trying to come up with responses to Mandy's "Celebrety" post, but nothing comes to mind. She posted another blog tonight (or I guess technically last night since it is past midnight...) It's about jeans. This one is easy for me to answer, since it's something that I think about on a semi-regular basis.

She asked how much was spent on the last pair of jeans bought. Personally, I don't remember the last pair I bought, but I'm actually kind of weird about buying clothes. I never want to spend any money on them. If I think they're overpriced, no matter how much I love them, clothes are the one thing I cannot splurge on. At all, ever. Anyway, the most expensive pair of jeans I own were a Christmas gift from 2008's xmas. I think I had been complaining about never having pants that fit right or something, and I think some of the girls in my family became determined to teach me how to like shopping.

The girls (Cousin Jesse, Aunt Lisa, Aunt Susie, Gma, Mom...) went to the mall for some stuff. Susie wanted to get me my xmas gift, so she told me to pick out a pair of jeans. She took me to Macy's, which I hadn't been to since I've started looking at price tags. I found a pair that I liked, looked at the price tag and went to immediately looking for a clearence rack. Eventually, my aunt convinced me to look at a few pairs but wouldn't let me look at the price tags anymore.

I don't know the brand name, but let me just say this: I still have yet to find a pair of pants that fit as well as the ones I got that day do (they were the first ones I tried on too! Woo!) Now, they weren't $300 jeans or anything, but still way more than I ever would have thought of spending myself. The more I think about it though, it does make a little bit of sense to buy nicer clothes just because they last longer. Those jeans still look brand new and it's been over a year (not that my other jeans have really worn that much either to be honest.)

However, when I'm shopping for jeans, if they're $20 I reeeeeally have to like them to get them. I think it's odd but I can't help it! I'll carry the jeans around the store the whole time I'm shopping; if by the time it's time to check out I don't feel like I'd die without them, I won't buy them. Maybe it's because I really don't need any more jeans, but I think it's just because I'm cheap.

Random updates on my oh so eventful life:

• School is kicking my butt, but I'm trying my best and I have a high C in my math class. My final is on Friday, and I can't help but freak out a little bit. I'm trying not to.
• Natalie and I got to hang out a little last night, which was fun :)
• My bosses are driving me nuts at work.
• I have a new credit card, and I love the responsibility.
  
• My brother and I are slowly cleaning the house, but it's frustraiting how it has to get messier to get clean again.
• Someone left their wedding flowers in a fridge at my hotel; they're sitting next to me and smell wonderful. I couldn't imagine going somewhere like Extended Stay America after my wedding, but I guess the marriage is what really counts. The bouquet I have is roses and lillys; Cindy took home one that was all roses. They're small and cute.
• I finally have a phone again, but not many numbers. I hate losing phones.
• I can't find anything to take pictures of lately.\
• I'm still trying to find something entertaining to blog about.